My Book: “Education System in Tanzania” will be out in August, 2018.


Kibogoji Readers,

This is to let my readers and fun know that my book entitle ”

THE EDUCATION SYSTEM IN TANZANIA

History, Policy Reforms, Education Ideologies, Evaluation and Assessment, and Research-Based Models for Improving Educational Outcomes in Schools and the Nation.”

will be out this coming January, 2018. Please keep yours eyes here to be the first to hear when the book comes out. Once, the book is out all excerpts and reference on the chapters in the book will be removed from this website.

All proceeds from book sales will be used solely to expand my work in Turiani, Morogoro, Tanzania. Kibogoji Experiential Learning Center provides early childhood education and after school enrichment programs for children in Turiani, Morogoro. In addition, the center provide access to technology enhanced learning and a library where parents and kids can access books (both academic and novels).

 

 

 

Furthermore, if you would like to donate to our work, please do so by clicking here or by going to the Kibogoji Experiential Learning Center, Inc page in this website. Once there, click the donate button. YOUR DONATIONS will receive a tax exempt receit.

Thank you all,

 

The Tanzania Citizenship  Act of 1995 and Its Contradictions with Dual Citizenship for the Diaspora


Abstract

Per the Citizenship Act of 1995, persons who were citizens of either the Republic of Tanganyika or the People’s Republic of Zanzibar shall be deemed to have become citizens of the Republic of Tanzania effective from Union Day, April 26th of 1964. The 1995 Citizenship ACT does not allows dual citizenship. It does not allow women to pass their citizenship rights to their foreign born husbands and/or children from such marriages. The Act, however, sets forth requirements for citizenship and legal procedures for becoming a Tanzania citizen through naturalization. This article provide the historical anecdote that lead to Tanzania adopting a citizenship act that does not allow its citizens to carry multiple passports. It refutes the philosophical argument that dual citizenship is a threat to national security and identity. Furthermore, the article offers a counter argument for why Tanzania should provide dual citizenship for its diaspora. Such an act will benefit both the country and its citizens abroad.

Introduction

The concept of citizenship in Tanzania is rooted within the perception of national security and identity (Dahlin & Hironaka, 2008). Dahlin and Hironaka (2008, p58) argues that strict citizenship laws based on ethno-cultural boundaries and restrictive nationalist identities are good for a young developing country. The Citizenship Act of 1995 took this philosophical position allegedly in defense of and to safeguard the country’s identity and security. The idea behind this philosophical thinking is that, dual nationality tends to corrupt the cultural identity of a country and thus, making national security difficult to secure.

Ten years prior to the 1995 Citizenship Act, the country (Tanzania) took bold and forward looking steps in introducing the 1984 Constitution Amendments in which some fundamental principles of human rights and/or rights of citizens were granted. The 1984 Constitutional Amendments was arguably the most forward looking Constitutional Amendment in Tanzania’s short history, as it allowed broad human rights provisions to its citizens.  The 1995 Citizenship Act, however, was a  step backward and came with more restrictive and discriminatory clauses that exclusively prohibited dual citizenship and the rights of women married to foreigners and the rights of all Tanzania by birth citizens living abroad.

James Sapali (2015, p56) argues that the 1995 Citizenship Act was motivated by a perceived threat to national identity and security based on the political, economic, and geographical context at the time. The mid-1980s and early 1990s, were the toughest times economically for Tanzania. Because of these realities, The Citizenship Act of 1995 was made to be more exclusive and discriminatory. It purported to protect the county’s perceived national identity and security threats presented by the changes in the demographics, political, and economical situations. Arguably, the Citizenship Act of 1995 was made purposely to target and exclude some individuals and particularly Asian-Tanzanians who were perceived as outsiders and/or foreigners who posed threat to the country’s economy, and thus, its identity and national security. In addition, the Act was made to be very discriminatory against women. In the 1995 Citizenship ACT women are not allowed to pass their citizenship rights to husbands of foreign origin and children born to those marriages. This was made explicitly so that to discourage people (male) from foreign country to marry Tanzanians and thus, acquiring citizenship rights through marriage. On the contrary, this patriarchal and male dominated Citizenship Act, allowed for male citizenship’s rights to be passed on to their foreign-born wives and their children.  In addition, the 1995 ACT strongly prohibits dual citizenship for a mere reason based on a perceived lack of loyalty from those gaining citizenships in foreign countries. No real or perceived threats have demonstrably been found to support this philosophical position.

Flaws in the National Security and Identity Argument

The premise that Tanzanians who acquire citizenships in other countries are threats to national security and national identity is flawed. First, most Tanzanian citizens and Tanzanian by birth have a stake in the development of Tanzania. This is evident by the tireless work they do to attract investment to Tanzania, to invest in Tanzania, and through many collaborative work and programs they engage in to develop the wellbeing of Tanzania and their fellow-citizens. Secondly, majority of Tanzanians and Tanzanian by birth who resides in foreign countries send huge amount of remittances each year back into the country. It is estimated that in the year 2015 alone, Tanzanians in the diaspora sent a total $750 millions to Tanzania (World Bank, 2015). This amount is larger than the amount of foreign currency the country received from its sales of cotton, coffee, tea, flowers, cloves, and sisal combined, in the same year (Zitto, Kabwe, Personal Communication). Yet, the $750 million remittance amount stated in the World Bank report is the lower threshold of the total remittance the country receives. Other, sources believe, Tanzania received an upward of $850 million in 2015 through remittances sent via Hawala. The $850 million figure is larger than what the country receives from the Millennium Corporate Challenge (MCC Funds). In 2013 MCC provided Tanzania with $698.1 million (Millennium Corporate Challenge, 2013). The discrepancy in remittance reporting is because the country lack a reliable method of tracking remittance entering the country from its diaspora.

These examples demonstrate the flaws in the thinking that provided the framework for the 1995 Citizenship Act. The thought that national security and identity cannot be properly secured, if, and when, a citizen of Tanzania acquires citizenship in a foreign land is not supported by facts. In addition, stripping women’s citizenship rights based on who they happen to marry is in violation of equal treatment rights. Foreign husbands and their children should be afforded the same rights as their male counterparts.

Furthermore, there are six countries in the East African Community. Three of the six countries in the East African Community allow dual citizenships for their citizens. Apparently, there has never been a national security threat nor national identity erosion in these three member states since they allowed dual citizenship. The claim that dual citizenship is a threat to national security and national identity is baseless and is an argument devoid of factual evidence. Currently, there are 71 countries worldwide that allows dual citizenship in some shape or form. The benefits of Dual Citizenship are self evident in countries such as Israel, Nigeria, India, Brazil, and China.

Nine Reasons for Dual Citizenship in Tanzania

Most of us advocate for dual citizenship because of our love for Tanzania, albeit poor and struggling. Most of us a driven by our patriotic duty to our country of origin. For the same reason, we write commentaries, participate in social media forums and other channels. We love Tanzania and want to see the nation progress from poverty to prosperity.

The adoption of the New Constitution may be justified for the following reasons:

First, dual citizens can receive the benefits and privileges offered by each country. For example, they have access to two social service systems, can vote in either country and may be able to run for office in either country (depending on each country’s laws). They are also allowed to work in either country without needing a work permit or visa and can attend school in either country at the citizen tuition rate (Jean Folger).

Why is this important to a Developing World countries like Tanzania?

Tanzania is still grappling with an undeveloped education system. For the most part its teachers are inadequately trained, the facilities are either dilapidated or not there, and generally, educational standards are below the standards of those of the developed nations, like Canada or the USA. It is not being at variance to argue that leaders trained and who actually lived in the developed educational background will have more to give in terms of leadership, value and ideas. They may also be able to live out what has worked abroad. Because they have the experience of living successfully in those nations.

Second, being trained abroad and living abroad are not the same things, therefore, only those who live abroad will have a sustained impact on the politics and economics of the poor nations. Take as an example a person who spends five years in college or university abroad. This person will perhaps be on a VISA or some sort of Study Permit has limited access to resources and in most cases, will have limited mobility. When this person returns home, other than what they learned through “osmosis,” they have nothing more than classroom experience of the developed countries thought. In short, though trained abroad, these “Western educated Africans” will still be African-minded in terms of policing and programming. It is not that African education is not adequate to develop Africa; it is a truism that most of what is in Africa is either imported from the developed countries or has their blessings. Talk of books, technology, leadership paradigms, even the sources of money used in Africa, these for the most part, come or have been borrowed from the rich countries. In recent past, Tanzanian politicians have gone and died abroad. It cannot be because Tanzania has no medical facilities; it is because Tanzanians know, implicitly or explicitly, that better medical facilities are still found abroad.

Third, and as an addendum to three above, “Foreign-educated leaders attract more FDI to their country. Our rationale is that education obtained abroad encompasses a whole slew of factors that can make a difference in FDI flows when this foreign-educated individual becomes a leader” (Constant and Tien, 2010). FDI or foreign direct investment is a much needed currency in Tanzania’s quest to wean itself from the aura of central government. However, and even more importantly, foreign companies and governments may trust those who got their education and business experience from abroad and even more those who lived and worked abroad. If a president is one who lived and worked abroad, you can imagine the level of trust in his/her government. It is also important to emphasize that citizens who have lived abroad may, comparatively, be less corrupt, less dictatorial, less autocratic, less dishonest, and more democratic and fair in their approach to governance. The reason is simple, because they lived and absorbed those values which most developed countries subscribe to.

Fourth, the idea of “Brain Earn” comes to light. Remember in the late 1980s and early 1990s when the concept of “brain drain” was rife on the political tongue! Now, the idea of brain drain is becoming obsolete and more so with increased global economic integration in place. Relocation or immigration does not drain brains anymore, it empowers brains. In other words, training or living in another country shapes your brain to infinite possibilities in terms of economic modelling, political idealization or social industry. A leader who has spent ten years squarely in Africa will be less industrious, less innovative, and less dexterous than another who lived or worked abroad, especially in the developed country! This is the same reason why developed governments appoint leaders who have lived in Africa to head undertakings whose mission involve Africa.

fifth, a dual citizen can own property in either country. This benefits both countries, but especially the poor country. The reason is simple, some countries restrict land ownership to citizens only and land or property is a genuine investment. Imagine more Tanzanians owning property, land and businesses abroad! Imagine what this will do to promoting the Tanzanian brands, connecting local businesses to the developed ones and generally putting Tanzania on the map as has been the case for Israel, Nigeria or India! And this is not new, major corporations from the developed countries do own lands and properties and businesses in Africa. They can relocate interests based on the viability of the enterprise or enabling economic environment in either country. This benefit is self-assertive.

Sixth, dual citizenship informs cultural education. “Having dual citizenship gives you the chance to educate others about the culture and people of two different countries. Governments may like dual citizenship because it helps to promote a country’s image and culture abroad. If you have two passports, you may have more access to the world” (Kate Bradley). Even more, it enhances tourism and promotes a healthy image abroad. Consider the Jews and the impact they have had in the USA, Canada, and UK! Consider the Nigerians, Jamaicans and to some extent, Indians! All these nationals have made their birth countries powerful abroad. In international parlance, that means economic boom and political propagation of their originating countries.

Seventh, dual citizenship entails easy of travel. If you are a dual citizen, you enjoy the protection of two governments even when you are traveling. If you encounter problems on the trip, you can appeal to one or both governments’ embassies. “When asked for identification during international travels, you can supply the passport that is least likely to raise eyebrows or cause problems among officials. You can also travel to both countries as a native citizen, avoiding the lengthy airport queues and questioning about your purposes” (Kate Bradley). This is self-explanatory.

Eighth, dual citizenship promotes increased security awareness. To a dual citizen, one country may be a homeland but the other is very much a new home. Immediately this will cause them to fully experience and embrace the ideals of both countries. Dual citizens will more likely than mono-citizens promote peace and order in both countries because of dual security interests in both. They will also be more sensitive to issues of war, terrorism and treason. This is the very opposite of the fears most people have of dual citizenship. Dual citizens, by design, are incapable of compromising the security secrets of both countries. They will likely defend both interests with equal strength. Their own safety depends on it.

Ninth, one question that cannot be avoided now is: Where is the world going? The world is trekking towards more integration, globalization, and outsourcing of important jobs and ideas. Rather than being individuals, nationals are tending to be more world citizens. The Internet is drawing all of us together; Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, and various social media are drawing us towards one identity. Although no nation should sacrifice its sovereignty for integration, it is vital to understanding that socio-political dynamics are calling on us to unite more, cooperate more and share more equitably the world’s diminishing and scarce resources. In light of this, duality of citizenship will not be much to ask for. The only caveat under this clarion is that no-one nation should take advantage of another in economic and security terms. Done properly and lawfully, both countries stand to benefit from dual citizenship.

Conclusion

For Tanzania, the move to dual-nationality is a move in the right direction. President John Pombe Magufuli would be doing the best investment of his presidency for spearheading the process to  adopt the New Constitutional. The Tanzanian parliamentarians need to push for a revival of the New Constitution Bill. The issue of dual citizenship is not for the benefit of the Tanzania diaspora alone, it is for the benefit of the country. It is not Canada or the USA or wherever countries Tanzanian citizens resides which stands to benefit, it is Tanzania. Tanzania will not make economic, political or social progress unless one of its sons or daughters who has been educated, worked and lived abroad (especially in a developed country) is allowed to participate uninfringed politically, economically, and socially in the development of Tanzania.

               References.

 

Kibogoji Experiential Learning Center: Update!


Kibogoji Experiential Learning Center is housed in a one and a half roomed house near the police post in Turiani, Morogoro. Currently the center has over 800 different types of books icluding children’s books, adult books, and youth books. The books are mostly in English. In addition to English book, Kibogoji was able to secure over 50 books from the Tanzania Publishing House (TPB). These additional books are mainly in Kiswahili and a few of them are bilingual (Swahili and English).

Kibogoji understand that childrens in our village are academically struggling especially in Math, English, and Swahili. Thus, the center’s short-term goal is to improve reading, writing, and arithmetic skills for children in our neighborhood. In addition, the center emphasize the use of technology in learning. Currently, Kibogoji has 10 laptops and one desktop computer for technology infused learning. Kibogoji also believes that books are a window to the unknown world. Thus, reading different books and especially books from other cultures will not only expose our children to the world far from theirs, but, also will improve their literacy and arithmetic comprehension skills.

Thus, a book reading, writing, and math after school refresher program is currently being implemented at the center. This intensive reading, writing, and arithmetic program started January, 2017. Through this program we will be able to close the gap in math, reading, and writing in our rural community.

Kibogoji uses both formative and summative assessment tools to measure the effectiveness of our after school program. In particular, pre-and post-test assessment tools are used to measure growth and goal attainment. The assessment tools designed to assess the effectiveness of this program are rigorous, scientifically designed, research based, and evidence based. In addition, assessment during learning, rapid response systems, and ongoing re-teaching strategies are all being used throughout the six months period to make sure all children are learning at the highest levels.

As we embark on this journey to help all kids have access to quality education. Kibogoji hopes, all well-wishers will support our efforts. We believe in the “It takes a Village to Raise a Child Concept.” With this in mind, we are looking forward to 2017 to be a great year in ensuring access to quality education for all children. Be part of our effort by contributing here: donate.

Furthermore, at Kibogoji  Experiential Learning Center, we believe that “Building Stronger Children is Easier than Repairing Brocken Men.” Therefore, to create a just society we must build stronger children and equip them with sellable skills. As we are settling in in the 21st century, skills that would be highly needed in any profession includes: great presentation skills, writing skills, math skills, and information technology skills. Thus, these are the core competences we are intending to build for the children of Turiani at the Kibogoji Center. To read more about our initive click this link here: kibogojibrochure-doc

Kibogoji7

What’s New at Kibogoji Experiential Learning Center?


Good Morning Kibogoji Readers,

I have been working tirelessly for the past 3 years to open up a small experiential learning and media center for children of Turiani, Morogoro, in Tanzania. I am proud to announce that the wait is finally over. The Kibogoji Experiential Learning Center, inc is now open and the demand for what we offer is off the roof.

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Kibogoji Experiential Learning Center, Inc is the only door to the world unknown for majority of the children attending it. I’m delighted and very excited for the children. I wish all of them, a great year ahead. I am sure the children of Kibogoji will have a great year full of learning, playing, watching videos, and just having fun.

The centers’ goals for the first operating year are:

1) to improve reading and writing skills for the first and second grade students through an intensive reading and writing program.

2) to improve arithmetic skills for the first and second grade students through a rigorous math program.

3) to infuse the use of technology and play into teaching and learning.

4) to introduce an experiential learning program that will pair up children with professionals in our community so that the kids can learn different life and professional skills from adults.

As you can imagine, this is such a special year for Kibogoji Experiential Learning Center, Inc because the center has recently received five laptops and one brand new desktop computer. In addition, Kibogoji has also received a brand new projector and a sorround sound system. This is just the beginning of a great year ahead. It’s my hope, and without a doubt, that the best is yet to come.

If you would like to help the center become the change you would like to see and/or associate with, please visit: here for donations and to learn more about what we do. You can also e mail the program director Dr. Shaaban Fundi directly through this e mail: skfundi@hotmail.com.

As is, the space in which the center is housed is very small. Currently we can only accommodate about 15 kids at a time. The center is open for three hours a day and takes in two classes of 15 kids each one hour and a half. I would love to open up more space to accommodate more children. Right now the center accommodates 30 kids a day and about 150 children a week. I would love to buy more land so the kids have space for sports as well.

My observations for the first month of operation are that, due to limited space, we are not reaching a greater number of children in our community. Since the center was opened we have been turning kids away because of lack of space. If you feel like what we are doing at Kibogoji center is in line with the things you would like to help, please do so by donating your time and/or money to help us reach all children with our services.

Lastly, Kibogoji Experiential Learning Center has hired two highly qualified teachers to run the center. The teachers will be responsible for the day to day operation of the center’s work and creating lesson plans and all other activities geared towards achieving the center’s goals.

Kibogoji Experiential Learning Center: Progress Report.


Kibogoji Experiential Learning Center is housed in a one and ahalf roomed house near the police post in Turiani, Morogoro. Currently the center has over 800 different books. The books are mostly in English. In addition to the English book, Kibogoji was able to secure over 100 books from the Tanzania Publishing House (TPB) that are mainly in Kiswahili and a few of these books are bilingual (Swahili and English).

At Kibogoji, we understand that kids in our village are academically struggling especially in Math, English, and Swahili. Thus, the center’s short-term goal is to improve reading, writing, and arithmetic skills for children in our neighborhood. Kibogoji also believes that books are windows to the world unseen. Thus, reading books will expose our children to the world far from theirs.

A book reading, writing, and math refresher programs will be implemented. This intensive reading, writing, and arithmetic program will start this coming January, 2017. Through this program we will be able to close the math, reading, and writing gap for our children.

We will measure the impact of our intensive program using both formative and summative assessments. In particular,  a pre-and post-test assessment tool will be used to measure growth. The assessment tools we will be using in this program are rigorous, scientifically designed, research based, and evidence based . In addition, assessment during learning, rapid response systems, and on going reteaching strategies will be used throughout the six months to make sure all children  are learning at highest standards.

As we embark on this journey to help all kids have access to quality education. We hope, all well wishers will support this effort. We are looking forward to 2017 to be a great year in ensuring access to quality education for all our children.

As an educator, I believe “Building Stronger Children is Easier Than Repairing Brocken Men.” Therefore, to create a just society we must build stronger children and equip them with sellable skills. At the time when we are settling in in the 21st century, the skills that would be highly needed include: Great presentation skills, Writing skills, Math skills, and Information Technology Skills. Thus, these are the core competences we are intending to build for the children of Turiani at the Kibogoji Center.

Happy Holidays!!

To help Kibogoji Experiential Learning Center, Inc continue this wonderful work, donate here.  Your contributions are tax deductible. Thank you!!

Laura Pili Fundi: Little House on the Prairie.


Little house on the Prairie

By:

Laura Pili Fundi

   The tittle of my book is Little House on the Prairie. The author of this book is Laura Ingalls Wilder. The main characters of this book are: Laura, Mary, Ma, Pa, Baby Carrie, and Jack, their dog. The main characters in this story are related because they are in the same family.  The story takes place on the prairie near the creek, in Kansas. I know they are in the prairie in Kansas because at the beginning of this book the narrator describes being in the big woods of Wisconsin before moving to Kansas to the prairie.

This book begins when they are in the Big Woods of Wisconsin. The Big woods of Wisconsin was good while they Ingalls family was growing up. However, many people started moving over to Wisconsin because of immigration. The Ingalls family did not enjoy having all the people living around them. They decided to move west. Their journey was a success. There were no injuries and everyone was safe the whole way. But there were many difficulties during their journey such as crossing the river. Crossing a big river back in the 1800’s would normally take a week or 5 days.

The person telling the story is no one in the book in fact, it is the narrator. The main character of this book is Laura Ingalls. Laura is a very cheerful person, respectful, and is very brave. She was being brave when Ma and Baby Carrie were in the house with the Indians. She ran towards the house to see what was going on while being respectful towards her dad by not letting jack off his leash to go attack the Indians. I think the author wants us (the person reading the story) to think Laura is a very respectful child. I know this because whenever her parents tell her to do something she does it and does not hesitate or argue. I really like Laura because she is cheerful, respectful, and brave which is very good of a personality.

When there was a fire, Laura, Mary, Ma, and Pa did the right thing. They all worked together to keep each other safe. Laura helped pa get all the buckets filled up with water. Pa and Ma poured the buckets of water on to the fire. While Laura, Baby Carrie, And Jack waited by the house to stay safe. Now I know what to do on a real emergency with a fire.

This book connected me with the world of the 1800’s. Because in the 1800’s many things were the same like in the book: Little House on the Prairie. Like when they crossed the river in the 1800’s, I took about as long as I takes to across the country today by a car. This also reminds me of the 1800’s because in the beginning of the book, the narrator explained that people back then went in wagons to get to places. Also when they were on the prairie, Indians roamed around. Moreover, wild fires were a daily existence and you had to put them out yourself. It also reminds me of the 1800’s because getting food you had to hunt and you had to make a well to fetch your own water from.

Difficult, but, fun life­­—–it was.

Changing Realities of Relationship Structure and Marriage in the Modern World.


The world is rapidly changing. Men needs to change their customs and thoughts to accommodate the changing realities and circumstances for and of women. It is a normal occurrence in the developing and the developed world nowadays to see women increasingly becoming financially independent than men. This is something that men may be afraid of. Unfortunately, the train has already left the station.

Men can’t stop these new trends. Therefore, must adapt to the new realities by changing their customs and thought process regarding relationship structures and marriage. Men must confront their pre-existing notion about they are position in relationships with women in an increasingly becoming women dominated world.

I know it is tough for men to do so. History has been on the side of men for centuries. The books ( both holy and non-holy) that men wrote to keep women in subjugated positions are starting to lose meaning. Men are scared of the new world they are about to venture in. Perhaps, at this juncture, I suggest men to celebrate women’s new found ranks in our societies and embrace the changing economic and relationship landscape. Because to keep resisting what we know we cannot stop is living a lie.
The fact that they are more girls than boys in most colleges (Rocheleau, M. (2006), Pew Research Center, (2014) and National Center for Education Statistics, (2012)  is a tale tell sign of what is to yet to come. Simply put, women will be spearheading most economic and job ranks in the near future. It’s just a fact. It may sounds scary for some, but, facts must remain so. In most society and especially here in the West, women are enjoying this new found space in their lives. And, men must start realizing that their hegemonic stronghold towards their relationships with women must change.

As I write this, there are a number of unmarried women in Tanzania and the USA , for the simple reason that men are either afraid of them because of their financial freedom and/or job titles. Men needs to come to term with the current economic and women empowerment realities. Otherwise, many fine women will be left out to live their lives in sex-less, relationship-less, and child-less environment. Just because they were able to gain financial freedom or higher job titles than men. That to me is shameful. I believe strongly in the idea that men don’t have to subjugate women to be complete.

I know, this concept is hard to digest coming from a testosterone dominated society. Furthermore, the research in future marriages and income suggests that our daughters will more likely become financially independent more so than the men who will marry them. My question is: should the men who are not independently worth run away from our daughters? I think not.

There is a need to define success, relationship structures, and marriage differently so that they may go along with the changing world. Again, I am not advocating for men to depend on their women. What I am saying here is in order to have a balanced family life that imparts value to kids (the rounded child concept), sometimes it is necessary to have one of the parents take a more direct role in the kids’ upbringing, thus losing ground in the financial aspect of the relationship. It can be the father or the mother. Which one?  It doesn’t matter. Does it?

There is a lot of negative impacts (socially, economically, and behaviorally) associated with kids’ upbringing when both parents decide to climb the corporate ladder. The research on children development is very clear on this. Most families are starting to realize the consequences of letting kids either raise themselves or being raised by a house girl or boy. When parents take on time consuming and stressful jobs to be financially independent, because of insecurities in their relationships, the kids suffer as a result. Thus, we must ask ourselves: what is good for us as parents and also what is generally good for our kids? There are many viable paths to all these completely complex life choices. I, for one, stays put……